This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
