i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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