i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
