Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
