mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
too bad you live with your parents still
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
