just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
