You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
