oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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