so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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