Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
