I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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