idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
