Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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