i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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