this just has baby written all over it
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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