we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
