oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
