Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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