Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
