we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Randomize
