Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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