he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
