I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Randomize
