Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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