wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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