well I can't set my house on fire every night
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
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