So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
