I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
These tits shall not be calmed
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize