Umm I'm too high to move.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
