I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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