Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
