I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
