I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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