I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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