If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize