I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
