My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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