just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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