How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
