Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
