I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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