i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
