it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
