I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
