it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Randomize
