OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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