I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
