as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
