We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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