So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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