I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
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How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
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What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize