Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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