One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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