So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
