this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
