So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
