im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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