i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
