Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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