the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
