CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
