Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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