I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
