it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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